march 12 2018. a day that, until a few months ago, i didn't even realize was important to me. but after months of healing, conversation, and growth, i am able to come out and publicly say that i was raped. if your first thoughts were 'what was she wearing?' 'what was she doing?' 'was she … Continue reading me too
growth.
it's been a long time, guys. the past few months have been spent growing, learning, changing, and giving thanks. since my first few days at seattle pacific university, a lot has changed. i made friends. when i first came to spu, i was terrified that i wouldn't know how to socialize. i was worried that … Continue reading growth.
transitions.
two years ago today i was in a new city, without my family for the first time, and i was breaking. a traumatic experience left me with no friends, the onset of PTSD, and a crippling, life-annihilating depression. a year ago today i was grieving the loss of my identity, the death of my best … Continue reading transitions.
drugs.
it's been awhile. let me explain why. i've been adjusting my meds. medications are like fingerprints; the affects of meds are unique to the individual, just as a fingerprint is. this sounds counterintuitive, but i promise it makes sense. every body reacts to medications differently. some people get severe side effects, some get none. tylenol … Continue reading drugs.
manic.
i think a facet of bipolar disorder that is deeply misunderstood is the manic period. remember, i'm not bipolar type 1 or 2, so my experiences vary from those with more severe forms of the disorder. but i think my experiences, because they are less severe, will help you all understand what it's really like. the manic … Continue reading manic.
courage.
fighting a mental illness can be daunting. it's exhausting and scary, it costs you things whether it be relationships or time. it's not something to be taken lightly. battling mental illness takes courage. the question becomes: are we born with courage or are do we learn it? i think part of it is in our personality. … Continue reading courage.
honesty.
when i decided i wanted to change the world's view on mental illness, i made myself a promise that i would remain transparent with you all (and myself) no matter the circumstances. so there's something you should know. in my realm, bipolar disorder isn't very common. in my eyes it was just intense mood swings … Continue reading honesty.
illogical.
i know i focus mostly on depression. but i also suffer from an anxiety disorder as well as minor ptsd. i chose to write about anxiety today; i think it's something that more people can relate to. anxiety is an infuriating disease. the smallest of things can put an unbearable amount of pressure on your … Continue reading illogical.
bad at being a body.
like i've mentioned before, healing from depression is not just emotional healing. it involves working tirelessly for physical and social health as well. about the time i was diagnosed with severe depression, my naturopath decided to do a series of blood tests to see if there were other factors contributing to my declining health. boy … Continue reading bad at being a body.
triggers (not the liberal kind).
my first therapist was not great. that being said, she did teach me a lot about anxiety and mental illness in general. one of the most effective ways to manage mental illness (of any kind, really) is to identify and avoid your "triggers". i've tried to come up with a better word, but there isn't … Continue reading triggers (not the liberal kind).