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how to save a life

a young woman's tell-all about dealing with mental illness in the 21st century

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bah humbug.

what the holidays should be vs what they are

Cameron Barnes Uncategorized Leave a comment December 26, 2017December 25, 2017 2 Minutes

no man an island.

an authority figure in my life told me i needed counseling. i was 16, and the statement hit me like a slap in the face. the thought that something was wrong with me - something so wrong that everyone could see it, was very distressing. in my eyes, needing therapy was a sign of weakness. it meant … Continue reading no man an island. →

Cameron Barnes Uncategorized Leave a comment December 10, 2017 1 Minute

blessings and disguises.

it took a long time for me to grieve. i had never really lost anything before. now all of a sudden i lost grip on my identity, my sanity, my relationship, and my future; all gone in an instant. at first i tried to do what i'm best at; barrel through all of my problems and pretend … Continue reading blessings and disguises. →

Cameron Barnes Uncategorized Leave a comment December 9, 2017December 9, 2017 2 Minutes

entrees and side dishes.

if depression is the entree, the symptoms are the sides. like with all illnesses, depression manifests differently depending on the individual. some have a few intense symptoms, some have a lot of mild symptoms, etc. no two people experience depression in the same way. it's silly that depression is referred to as a "mental" illness, … Continue reading entrees and side dishes. →

Cameron Barnes Uncategorized Leave a comment December 5, 2017 1 Minute

selfish (maybe).

i used to use "selfish" and "self-centered" interchangeably. it was only once i was hit head on by mental illness that i began to notice the difference. selfish means you are the center of your own universe. the world happens to you, not around you. what happens to others is of no concern because you … Continue reading selfish (maybe). →

Cameron Barnes Uncategorized Leave a comment December 3, 2017 1 Minute

juxtaposition.

a year ago today i was severely depressed, borderline suicidal, isolated, and destructive. 6 months ago i was severely depressed. i was a broken, bleeding mess of a girl. i was a zombie. a hollow shell of a someone that i used to be. i talked to no one. i could't sleep without the aid … Continue reading juxtaposition. →

Cameron Barnes Uncategorized Leave a comment December 1, 2017 1 Minute

its been awhile. dog.

i haven't posted in awhile and for that i apologize. sort of. as any of you depressed people know, sometimes depression demands to take control. so lets talk. i got an emotional support animal on November 17th. it took months to find him and i've gotta say, it was worth the wait. the requirements we … Continue reading its been awhile. dog. →

Cameron Barnes Uncategorized Leave a comment November 27, 2017 1 Minute

unexpected help.

as anyone with depression knows, it can be impossible to get up. not because you're necessarily tired all the time, but because the weight of the universe is pulling you down. sometimes it is physically impossible to move. as you can imagine, being a full-time student and being unable to leave my dorm was not … Continue reading unexpected help. →

Cameron Barnes Uncategorized Leave a comment November 15, 2017 2 Minutes

a signal.

i was beginning to feel hopeless about my situation until i read a book that really changed my perspective on depression. the book contained a series of activities - listing your resources, talking about certain moments in your life, etc. it viewed depression as a gift. i know, right? a gift? it sounds ridiculous but … Continue reading a signal. →

Cameron Barnes Uncategorized Leave a comment November 9, 2017 2 Minutes

the ugly truth.

i’ve always thought suicide was weak. i thought it was cowardly and selfish. how could you do that to your parents? siblings? friends? people need you in their lives. you are loved whether you feel it or not. but then i became depressed. and slowly i understood why killing yourself feels like the only way … Continue reading the ugly truth. →

Cameron Barnes Uncategorized Leave a comment November 4, 2017 2 Minutes

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